Obituary Rant

I've noticed lately in obituaries that it has become unpopular to say simply "He died..." In place of that are flowery phrases dealing with the transmogrification of people from the land of the quick to the land of the dead. Here are some examples:

-passed away

-departed this life

-went to be with the Lord

-went home to be with the Lord and Savior

-entered into his new life in Heaven

-passed peacefully on to a better place

-passed gently and triumphantly through death into life everlasting

-was transfixed into infinity

-An angel - perhaps two - came and carried Lillian to her heavenly home to join Jesus, her parents, and other loved ones that preceded her. (Perhaps Lillian was a big woman requiring two angels instead of the requisite one...)

-God called Michael home to a place of rest in His everlasting arms

-The Lord has called one of his good and faithful servants to come home. Roy answered the call on...

-Heaven is shining brighter today with the arrival of Sarah...

I suppose the writers of these obituaries were dealing with the pain of losing a loved one and saying bluntly "he died" would be too much to bear; too final. For them using the word "died" would sound so harsh and impersonal, rather like one was reporting on the fridge that has ceased to function. The refrigerator just dies. People (or their souls) are supposed to be going on to a more wonderful place.

Be that as it may, I really don't want to read rough drafts for somebody's Great American Novel in an obituary. More than three words to convey the idea of death is overkill. I don't want to have to interpret all that fluff as "died." I know the person died, it's an obituary for goodness sake. Just say they died and get on to the good stuff. It's cheaper!