Sunday, June 22, 2008

The Stink of Maple

We had bacon and eggs for supper last night. The bacon was "hardwood smoked maple" flavor. I didn't realize this when I grabbed it at the store or I never would have bought it. Instead of filling the house with the glorious smell of frying bacon, the house filled with the sickeningly sweet smell of maple syrup.

Supper was eighteen hours ago and the maple syrup smell is still in the air. It makes me wanna barf. Oh, and the bacon tasted like it had maple syrup on it which made it yucky too. Bacon is supposed to taste salty like manly-man meat, not sweet like pancakes.

I like eating maple syrup, I just can't take the smell. When we have pancakes the dishes get washed immediately. I can't even stand the smell lingering on a rinsed plate.

I don't know what it is with the maple smell and me. I don't remember being sickened by the smell as a child. Maybe we never ate maple syrup when I was little. I dunno. All I know is that sometime in the past ten years I have developed a pretty strong aversion to maple syrup smell.

Is it just me or does anyone else have this problem with stinky maple?

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Corpses in Space

If you blow a corpse out the pod bay door without the benefit of any type of container, how long would it take for the body to decompose in the cold vacuum of space? Would it just float around out there forever or would some anaerobic bacteria be able to finally eat it up?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Brain Poop: Gnats, Libraries, and Going Stinky

I need to poop out a few thoughts now because my brain is getting constipated.

1) Gnats - The house has been invaded by gnats. I have been swatting at them constantly for the last three days or so. For every one I kill, two more take its place. I have no idea where they're coming from and they are driving me CRAZY. I am so tired of whapping at black specks I just gave up, named one, and let him live on my forehead. Sigh. I fear I resemble a starving Somalian child with flying things sucking at the corners of my eyes.

2) Small town libraries - We are fortunate in that we have two libraries in Our Town: the county library and the community college library. We are unfortunate in that they both suck. I went to the county library first looking for books on cartooning techniques. They had about five books on drawing like the Masters and that was it. Those five were all older than me by the way. Off to the CC. They didn't have what I was looking for either, but I did find a thick book on Disney animation. Since I realized I've been drawing Mickey Mouse hands all this time I thought I might find something good in there.

At the check-out desk was a pile of bookmarks with a list of banned books. "Banned Books Through the Ages. These books have all been banned at one time or another on religious grounds." There were 26 books on the list. I said to the librarian lady....

Me: Banned books! Woo hoo! My summer reading list all on a bookmark. I've been wanting to read "The Sorrows of Young Werther" by Goethe. Where can I find it?
Her: I'm pretty sure we don't have that one.
Me: How 'bout "On the Infinite Universe and Worlds" by Giordano Bruno???
Her: Um, nope.
Me: "The Guide of the Perplexed" by Moses Maimonides???
Her: Don't have that one either.

Sigh. Unless you want to read paperback novels, our little libraries aren't good for much.

3) Going Green, Going Stinky - Saw a commercial with Tommy Lee where he said he hadn't had a shower in a week and saved 268 gallons of water. He was kidding, of course, but it made me think. Could it be in our efforts to go Green and conserve water that society goes back to the Saturday night bath only? Could we live that way again?

I sometimes push the limit between soapings, but I don't think I could make it more than 48 hours, tops. After that I'd be itchin' like I had fleas. And I really wouldn't want to be anywhere close to Tommy Lee a week after his last shower. He would probably smell like old sex leavings or something. I don't care how huge his Mr. Happy is, that's just nasty.

Apropos of Nothing:

Kitty helps Daddy read the paper

I don't know what these two do inside that paper, but I find 'em like this every morning.