Karmic Obligations

At some point in life, almost everyone goes through an existential crisis. They wonder, “What am I doing here?” “What is the purpose of my life?” I have had two of these crises in the past two years. One was at my job in corporate America, which I quit. I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing, but I was fairly certain that wasn’t it.

The other has been just recently. Having been unemployed for two years, I began to wonder why I was on this earth breathing up other people’s oxygen. I wasn’t producing anything (especially an income.) I didn’t seem to be furthering the cause of humanity in any way. I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to be doing with my life.

It dawned on me that the reason I am still breathing is to fulfill some karmic obligations, or to help other people fulfill theirs. What is a karmic obligation? I don’t know if I have adequate vocabulary to describe the concept, but I’ll give it a shot.

I think souls proceed along through Existence growing ever more mature, or trying to anyway. I don’t know where they came from, or where they are going but it’s not so much the origin or destination as it is the process. I’ll call this process the Marathon. The Marathon started long before our birth on this Earth, or this plane of existence we call living. We will continue in the Marathon long after we die, or depart this plane of existence.

We are all running along in the Marathon. Some folks are better runners than others, more advanced. They have studied running, made mistakes, learned from those mistakes, and have improved. These folks aren’t going to get to the destination any faster, because they will stop along the way to be coaches to others. Sometimes they will be on the support crew, handing out water or working the first aid tent. Sometimes they will be sweeping the street in front of the other runners to ease the way, or repairing potholes so others won’t stumble. On the various stretches of the Marathon, these runners will need coaches, support crew, and maintenance staff also. Each soul will play a different role each day depending on their needs, their level, and the needs of others.

The energy that fuels this Marathon, what makes it able to function and continue to happen, I’m going to call karma. I know the textbook definition of karma is fate or final destiny, but you gotta get there somehow. Remember it’s all a process. Think of these terms in this way: “Marathon” is what you do in life, “karma” is why you do it. Performance of the maintenance and support functions along the Marathon is a karmic obligation.

Karmic obligations are the doing of things that need to be done simply because they need to be done. They may go unnoticed by the world, and the world would not stop spinning if they weren’t done. There is no praise or reward. It is not repayment of a debt. However, if the task is not done, there is a hole in the karmic fabric of Existence...a pothole in the Marathon as it were.

One of my main karmic obligations is to be a listener. In Marathon terms this would equate to standing along the route with a water bottle in your outstretched hand. The runners come along and snatch up the bottle as they fly by. The interaction with the runner is brief but critical on the journey.

To be a listener sounds a bit strange at first, but apparently there is a great need for listeners. People I have never met before or barely know tell me their life stories complete with intimate details, hopes, dreams, sorrows and disappointments. I’ve tried to cut them off before they plunge in too far, but they will not be deterred. They just launch.

I have learned to recognize the signs of a life story coming on, and I settle in and get comfortable. I just nod and say things like “ummm” and “really?” Usually somewhere near the beginning they say, “I don’t know why I’m telling all this to a perfect stranger.” At the end they usually say, “I’ve never told anyone that before. Why did I tell you?” I don’t know. I guess it was part of my karmic obligation to be a listener that day.

I got hit with two life stories in one day not too long ago. Since I am such a big introvert and rarely leave my house, the Marathon has shifted its route and now runs right by my front porch. A lady knocked on my front door looking for the previous owners, not realizing they had moved several months before. I had no idea how to find them but told her what little I knew. We chatted a few moments about the house and the neighborhood, then suddenly, she launched. I got it all.

She stood on my steps and poured out all her hopes and dreams, sorrows and disappointments, told me about her marriages, divorces, the guy she was seeing, her kids, her job, everything. She stood there for an hour and a half and ended up sobbing. She ended with the standard phrase, "I don't know why I'm telling you all this...and you a perfect stranger." I knew. It was part of her karmic obligation to tell, and part of mine to listen. I stifled a smile since she was sobbing.

After she got it all dumped she left. She never did introduce herself and neither did I. I was pretty stunned since I had never laid eyes on her before. Usually I have some history with people before they do the dump thing. What's so amazing is that she drove for an hour to get to my front door.

I was still reeling when I staggered back into the house and sat down at the computer. The first message I had started, “Sorry for the long ass e-mail. I can't for the life of me figure out why I am pouring my heart out to total stranger..." I guess the Marathon route runs along the Internet too.

Another karmic obligation I have is to be a momentary trainer for other runners. I explain a new technique, give a few pointers and encouragement, and send them along their way. One or two real karmic couch potatoes have appeared on my doorstep and I’m still trying to explain to them how to tie their running shoes. I seem to have been assigned to these guys for a long haul. I never really know with the karmic couch potatoes if I’m the trainer or if I’m the student. I’ve had a few epiphanies working with these guys. I guess you can’t really teach without learning.

The last two karmic obligations I’ve had were to help runners that had transitioned to the next leg of the race. In Marathon terms, one runner tossed a water bottle backward and yelled instructions to give it to someone else. It was my karmic obligation to catch the bottle and pass it along. In the second instance, the runner needed a bottle of water and I tossed one out from the sidelines. Karmic obligations for runners in transition are new for me. I’m working on recognizing the obligations and learning how to fulfill them.

When people ask me what I do all day at home alone, I try to change the subject. It’s difficult to explain in casual conversation that I’m busy most days fulfilling karmic obligations. A few people would understand, but most wouldn’t. If I tried to explain, they might send little men with straitjackets for me. You can’t put Karmic Obligation Fulfiller on a business card and there’s no category for it in the Yellow Pages. I don’t think the IRS would let me list that as an occupation on my tax form either. For that matter, being a full-time karmic obligation fulfiller doesn’t pay very well. In fact, the pay sucks. But the benefits are magnificent. I think my existential crisis is over.

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I originally wrote this piece Nov. 30, 2000. I found it last night rummaging around in the dim recesses of my computer's attic. I thought it would be good to dust it off and give it new life. I had forgotten my role as Karmic Obligation Fulfiller. I need to try to get that job back again.