Math Learning Disability

For years I thought I had some type of math learning disability. This may sound odd coming from somebody who made straight As in advanced algebra II and took up accounting as a profession.

I bang my head to this day trying to add and subtract in my head. I count on my fingers and make little dots on paper when adding numbers. My flippant reply is, "If God had wanted me to add and subtract, I would have been born with a TI calculator in my hand."

My problem is with simple addition and subtraction. Algebra is a breeze until I get down to x = 4/2, then I tank. I can whip through all the complicated algebraic theories and formulas. My brain came hardwired with those. It's the third grade math that trips me up.

A math teacher friend of mine explained that I didn't have a math disability, I had an arithmetic disability. Addition and subtraction is arithmetic, at which I suck. Algebra isn't math, it is logic. I excel at logic, therefore, I excel at algebra.

Here's a simple arithmetic problem:

8 + 6 = ____

The normal brain response would be: 14. Nothing more to it than that, just 14. Probably any third grader could spit out the answer without thinking about it. But oh no, not me.

My brain response would be something like this:

1.) Select smallest of two numbers: 6
2.) Double smallest number: 6 + 6 = 12
3.) Hold result in memory bank: 12, 12, 12, 12.....
4.) Find difference in the two original numbers: 6 + x = 8;
(Note this is step is NOT 8 - 6 = 2, which would be simpler)
5.) Solve for x: x = 2
6.) Hold result in memory bank: 2, 2, 2, 2, 2........
7.) Retrieve original memory hold: 12
8.) Retrieve second memory hold: 2
9.) Add two numbers together: 12 + 2 = 14
10.) Hope nobody noticed it took at least 60 seconds to do this calculation.
11.) Pray the result is correct so that others will not laugh.
12.) Make flippant comment about God and TI calculator.

My brain goes through this each and every time I encounter these simple addition problems. It will not memorize the addition tables. My cerebral synapses just won't fire correctly for some reason.

I have more calculators stashed around my house, office, car, and briefcase than Microsoft has programmers. My arithmetic disability gives me a new perspective on people with reading disabilities. I know the shame and agony they go through. That fear of being called to the board, the public humiliation of realizing everybody else "gets it" and I don't. Arrrggghhhh!

Telling time using a digital clock is just as painful. I'm OK as long as the current time is in the first half of the hour, but anything past XX:30 requires math. So, as this holiday season approaches, please!, don't give me a *&%!! DIGITAL clock or watch! I can't do math! By the way, just glancing at this digital clock graphic makes me cringe.

I discovered recently there is a name for this math learning disability - discalculia. Down in the Wikipedia article is this explanation:

"...there is evidence (especially from brain damaged patients) that arithmetic (e.g. calculation and number fact memory) and mathematical (abstract reasoning with numbers) abilities can be dissociated. That is, an individual might suffer arithmetic difficulties (or dyscalculia), with no impairment of, or even giftedness in, abstract mathematical reasoning abilities."

That describes me to a "T", but omygosh, that is concrete evidence that I am, (gasp), DAIN BRAMAGED! Wikipedia said so! I blame it on the fact that Momma dropped a can of peas on my head when I was two and just learning how to count. This incident may also be the reason I have a horrid aversion to English peas, but I digress.

The Sissies also claim to have problems with math and digital clocks, but Momma never confessed to dropping peas on their heads. Hummm... Maybe this thing IS genetic.