It's Good to be The King

Mr. Pibb, our tomcat, has declared himself to be Alpha Male of the household, much to the chagrin of Hubby.

Pibb is the only male critter to ever live with us. All our doggies and kitties have been female. Hubby loves living with a bunch of females, his "girls" as he calls us. Yes, I'm included in that. He spoils us all rotten and we love all over him. He eats that up with a fork and spoon. Purrs all around. Hubby likes being king of his harem.

Well, Pibb has thrown down the gauntlet. He has decided he wants to be king and has challenged Hubby's sovereignty over the household.

The first show of dominance was Friday evening. Hubby was laying in bed reading when suddenly he bolted from the bedroom with Pibb at arm's length and a mortified look on his face. He unceremoniously dumped Pibb on the front porch.

"What's going on? What's wrong?" I asked.

"He was humping my leg!!!!" Hubby exclaimed, obviously all meshuganah.

"So what??? Why did you put him outside?"

"I didn't want cat spooge on my ankle."

(gales of laughter)

"Honey, I think Pibb just made you his bitch."

Hubby hung his head dejectedly, and I laughed and pointed. Hubby pouted for the remainder of the evening and Pibb was banished to the great outdoors.

Saturday Hubby was working at his computer. Pibb chirped at him then jumped in his lap. Pibb crawled on his shoulders, walked along the back of the chair, then started biting Hubby on the ear. Hubby interpreted this behavior as "Pet me NOW dammit!" so he got Pibb into his lap and started petting him. Pibb wriggled free down on the floor. Then Pibb repeated the same lap, shoulders, back, ear biting sequence. Hubby stood up and Pibb jumped into the chair and curled up for a nap. He didn't want pets, he wanted the chair.

Hubby looked down at Pibb just speechless. He couldn't believe he had just been reamed by a cat. He had that same mortified, pouting look. I once again laughed and pointed. Hubby hung his head and sulked off to retrieve a wooden dining table chair.

Hubby worked in that hard chair for the remainder of the afternoon while Pibb slept in the plush, ergonomically-designed computer chair. Much teasing and laughing ensued with Hubby looking gloomier and gloomier.

So this afternoon Hubby declared we were going shopping.

"Shopping??? For what???"

"A new office chair."



Now there are three chairs in our office: Mine, Hubby's and Pibb's.

Tonight Hubby looked down at Pibb napping in his old chair and said, "I hope you're happy now you damned cat."

Pibb just chirped and stretched, turned belly up, and poked his little pink tomcatness out at Hubby.

Yep, it's good to be the king.