God's Borg

This is a long rant and I apologize up front for the lack of brevity. I had a lot to say about a lot of things, so go get some iced tea and set a spell.

To understand this rant, you must understand the Borg reference from Star Trek.

The Borg are a race of cyborgs in the Star Trek: The Next Generation TV series. They are characterized by relentless pursuit of targets for assimilation; their collective consciousness that enables rapid adaptability to almost any defense; and the ability to continue functioning properly despite seemingly devastating blows.

The Borg function as automata; the minds of all Borg drones are connected via implants and networks to a hive mind, the Borg Collective. The Borg claim to seek to "improve the quality of life for all species" by integrating organic and synthetic body components in their quest for perfection. To this end, they travel the galaxy, increasing their numbers and advancing by "assimilating" other species and their technologies, and subjugating captured individuals by changing them to the Borg standard.

They have become a powerful symbol in popular culture for any juggernaut against whom "resistance is futile."

Wikipedia, 8/26/2007

When an individual Borg is asked, "Who are you?," the Borg replies in an expressionless monotone, "We are Borg. Assimilation is imminent. Resistance is futile." When asked any other question, the reply is exactly the same: expressionless, unthinking, "We are Borg. Assimilation is imminent. Resistance is futile."

I have encountered a few of God's Borg in my short life. When asked a question, they answer with that same expressionless, unthinking, flat monotone. It is scary to behold, these otherwise bright and intelligent people parroting a Borg-like reply.

The first encounter was in 1984 with a coworker. He was a computer programmer, college grad, my age, bright guy, recently married, and a member of a little start-up storefront evangelical church. We were shooting the bull over the water cooler when he mentioned that he and his wife were thinking about starting a family after his wife graduated in the spring. As the company's health plan administrator, I knew he wasn't on the plan and had no other family health insurance.

I suggested he enroll in the health plan now so it would cover the maternity costs the next year. He froze up, got that thousand-yard, glaze-eyed Borg stare and replied in a monotone,

"God will provide."

"What??? What do you mean?"

"God will provide if we have a baby."

"But God has already provided. He gave you the intelligence to land a good job, an employer who offers a low cost insurance program, and the common sense to know a good deal when you see it."

"God will provide."

That's all he could say, over and over, like a needle skipping on a record. A perfectly acceptable answer could have been, "Well, I would like to get health insurance, but with Gretchen's tuition expenses, we just can't afford it right now. I can only have faith that God will provide."

I would have bought that, thought nothing more about it, and changed the conversation to what he might name a new baby. But this encounter bothered me so much it has stuck in my brain for the last 23 years. I don't know what collective consciousness they were preaching at that little storefront church to elicit such a Borg-like response, but I gave this guy a wide berth from then on.

The second instance was with a good friend of mine, a guy raised in the Church of Christ. He is what I would call a "Thinking Christian," someone who doesn't blindly believe what he is told, whether it is a religious or secular concept. He solicits opinions and information from various sources, and after much thought, arrives at his own conclusions. He surprises me from time to time with some pretty liberal viewpoints, some which I'm sure defy the church's teachings.

I realized one day I knew nothing about the Church of Christ and started researching the organization of the church, the creed, and traditions. I discovered the Churches of Christ have no formal organization. Each congregation is unique. So how does one CofC have any sort of uniformity of belief or tradition with the next CofC? The next time I saw my friend, I asked him this question:

"How do you know that the church with the CofC sign in Florida will have the same worship service as the one in Arkansas? Is there some kind of organizational conference like the Baptists?"

(sudden Borg-like stare; monotone reply)
"Any man with a Bible should be able to sit down and read the Bible and determine for himself how to have a worship service."

"Yeah, but everybody's interpretation of what they read won't be the same. How do you get all the CofCers in the nation singin' off the same songpage?"

(Borg-like stare; monotone reply)
"Any man with a Bible should be able to sit down and read the Bible and determine for himself how to have a worship service."

"If there isn't some type of overall agreement, there could be a CofC congregation in North Arkansas who are snake handlers."

(Borg-like stare; monotone reply)
"Any man with a Bible should be able to sit down and read the Bible...."

His record was stuck. The Borg-like response was disturbing. Apparently he had heard this repeated time and time again and it was firmly implanted in his brain. Perfectly acceptable responses would have been:

"I don't know, I've never thought about it before. Lemme find out and I'll get back to you."

"Nope, there's no formal organization. Each congregation is on their own and they're all slightly different. If you've seen one Church of Christ, you've seen *one* Church of Christ." (h/t MTEG)

"Yep, we have some odd snake-handlin' brethren up north."

The encounter left me shaken, wondering when the Borg had assimilated my friend. I can only hope he will be able to disconnect his Borg implant by the next time we meet.

The third instance was at a local congregational church. I was wanting to learn American Sign Language and they were the only church with an interpreter for the deaf at all their services. I attended three services before I realized I was in the presence of Borg.

During those first three visits I really didn't pay much attention to the content of the sermons. I heard the words but my main focus was on how the interpreter was signing those words. During my fourth visit, the preacher was about 10 minutes into his 30-minute sermon when he popped me out of my ASL educational reverie. Waaaait a minute, *WHAT* did he just say??? Did I hear that correctly????

I don't remember now his exact words, or who he was talking about, but the hateful speech spewing from his mouth horrified me. It should not have been spoken by a preacher in a church, any church, any denomination, anywhere in the nation. Hatemongering is not now, nor has it ever been, a Christian principle. My mouth dropped open in disbelief, then my blood pressure shot up about 70 points. Surely these otherwise intelligent people, a lot of whom I knew personally, were not buying this, were they? They aren't going to let him continue this are they?

I did a quick crowd scan. That's when I realized they were Borg. They had already been assimilated. The congregation's bright smiling faces were beaming en masse with admiration and approval. Their little Borg bobbleheads nodded up and down in complete agreement. I expected to see a few jump up and shout "Amen!"

I couldn't breathe for the rest of the sermon. My brain was searing with a white hot heat. I couldn't get out of there fast enough and nearly tossed my cookies on the drive home. I never dared go back. Unfortunately, these Borg are among us - our community leaders, with a prime directive of assimilation.

The threat to our nation is not across the pond boys and girls. It is here among us: God's Borg, disguised as ordinary citizens. Fear for your life.

Have faith in God, but not so much in your human religious leaders, especially those who tell you what to think or how to feel. Find those answers for yourself in your own way and in your own time. Do not be a lemming; resist assimilation; and don't drink the Kool-Aid.