Pages

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Road to Sheetrock

Friday night Hubby comes home and tells me I have to hang sheetrock the next morning. Oh joy. Hubby is in the process of rehabbing his mom's old farmhouse...again. This time it's the living room and her bedroom.

She wanted new hardwood floors and once the old carpeting was ripped out she thought new windows would be nice. Oh, and a new hearth, and crown molding, and while you're at it.... Sigh.

The living room got demolished down to the studs. Hubby and his brothers finished the demo last weekend. During the week Hubby replaced the windows, repaired the exterior wood siding, replaced rotten studs, rewired electrical outlets, and insulated the exterior walls by himself.

The next step was to hang new sheetrock but he couldn't do that alone. All three of his big, strapping brothers suddenly and mysteriously had other plans for the weekend. That left me. Oh, my joy was immense.

I've been going to bed about 6:00 am and getting up around the crack of noon. Hubby told me I had to be in the truck ready to leave at 9:00 a.m. Saturday morning, and that was too late as far as he was concerned. We have an hour and a half drive to get to the farm and daylight was a-wastin'. The late hour was a concession to me.

I'm not a morning person, especially not after just two hours of sleep, and knowing I'm going to have to spend the day hanging sheetrock. I step out the door Saturday morning to find Cheezburger the Porch Cat has had a successful night hunting. He left us a dead baby mole and a skullless (sic?) mouse. The face is still there but the top of the head is missing. The little mouse brain is still in place and shining bright pink in the morning sun. Barf. How did Cheezburger manage that I wonder?

I stagger out to the truck and hunker down in a rather foul mood. The black cloud of seething resentment is visible over my head. My brain had not yet began to function. I need caffeine. Hubby knows not to speak to me or I'll rip him a new one. He brought Pepsi out of self preservation.

We drive in silence for about 15 minutes. We pass a church sign that reads, "Pray for the harvest, but continue to hoe." My brain couldn't quite comprehend what that was supposed to mean, either at face value or in a biblical sense. The Pepsi had not yet kicked in. After a few minutes it registered.

Then I smirked.

Pook! My little devil horns pop out. I break the long silence.

"I *so* want to steal me an "E".

Hubby smirks.

"You are so bad."

Bwahahahaha. He knew exactly what I was talking about. We have lived together waaaaay to long.

A few more miles down the road, there was a dead coon splattered on the center line. Five feet away was a mangled deer. I wondered if the deer was on his way to sniff the dead coon when he got hit, or the coon was en route to sniff the dead deer. It was odd. Of course I had to ponder on that a while.

There were so many dead critters on the road we started keeping count. Final tally: 5 deer, 3 coons, 2 possums, 1 skunk, 2 armadillos, 3 cats, 1 dog, 1 chicken, and a goat. Yep, a goat. Have no idea where he came from. Somebody is gonna be really mad when they figure out they've lost a goat.

A few more miles down the road was a little man walking along pulling a little utility cart thingy loaded with his belongings. Hubby said he had seen the guy walking through Our Town a few days earlier. Dude must be walking cross country. Sign on the back of the cart: "REVOLT - Fight for Jesus." Wasn't Jesus a pacifist??? Oh, the irony.

10 comments:

Br. Jonathan said...

I think if my hubby had me sheetrocking in the morning, he'd be looking like that mouse.

I'll give you a call from Peoria. . .

LostInColor said...

Full sheets of sheetrock are heavy. Are you sore? I hate all the roadkill, makes me sad. Especially for the puppy dog and kitty cats.

sageweb said...

Wow I cant imgaine seeing that many dead things. Is that normal? I have never been a country girl so I have no idea. I do know if a possum or a cat get run over in the neighborhood it is a major crisis. We are city folks though.

booda baby said...

Great post, but I had trouble concentrating after you said you went to bed at 6 am. Every once in awhile I get reminiscing about those days of dawn and I feel sorry for how things have changed until I remember there were ... things ingested. Things that, were I to ingest now, would have unpleasant consequences. I think.

I like carcasses but - jeeeeze - that's a whole swing state.

Speck said...

Buck - 4:22 am and no ringy-dingy yet. (taps foot impatiently)

Lost - I've been eating Aleve like candy. It wouldn't be bad if I did this a little more often and was conditioned to it.

Life is hard for the rural yard dog. What is so amazing is that there are so few killed as compared to the number snoozing in the yards.

Sage - It was an unusually high roadkill count. Normally I would expect to see one, maybe two deer and three small furry critters. The chicken and the goat were really odd.

Booda - I think my wee hours lifestyle will be changing soon. I get too cold to stay up all night during the winter. Must go snuggle with warm dude.

rosemary said...

sheetrock?....what does hubby think you are? I'd be on strike and fast.....but then you are way nicer than me I think. We have lots of dead stuff this time of year because all of the animals are migrating to warmer places by the lake....and the moose are coming back to stay cool.

Miss Healthypants said...

That does not sound fun. But somehow, you made it entertaining to us, your blog readers! :)

Thanks for going to do sheetrocking so that we can be entertained. *grin*

My favorite line? "My little devil horns pop out. I break the long silence." LOL! :)

Kimberly Ann said...

I had a whole nuther, spooky 'cuz it is Halloween while I'm reading this, ending in mind for this story. But irony works too.

How did the sheetrock go? That's a job that I hate.

Willym said...

So where the heck were you guys when I need my 1885 fixer-upper uh... fixed up?

Despite the road kill tally - strange very strange that there would be so many - that was a hoot of a post.

Steal the E please, for us?

Anonymous said...

you have armadillos?????? How cool is that! ok, you are probably used to them. I wish we had armadillos.
Sheetrock, dead things, you got it all!!!!