This true story comes from an old clipping from the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. It's a tragic story, but Sissy and I rolled on the floor laughing because it's just so *Arkansas*.
"He needed killin'" is still a valid defense here.
Names were changed to protect the guilty.
--------------------------------------------------
"Myrtle", a 75-year-old woman remained in jail without bail on capital-murder charges in connection with the shooting death of her husband "Walter", age 74.
Myrtle told police she was "at her wit's end" and decided to shoot her husband because he wanted sex.
"I was just at my wit's end," Myrtle told the police. "That old peckerwood was always chasing me around the house. I couldn't get anything done!"
After drinking four or five beers, she took a gun out of the nightstand beside her sleeping husband and took it into the bathroom to see if it was loaded. She returned to the bedroom and, in the dark, shot him three times in the head.
Myrtle told police she was sorry for what she had done but was relieved her husband was gone...
...him *and* his damned Viagra.
----------------------------------------------------
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
So, if there are any peckerwoods reading this post, take heed. As you gaze down at your little blue football, remember there are southern women at their wit's end who have accurate aim...even in the dark.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
At Wit's End
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
Live by the pill... die by the pill!
Ha ha..very funny.
I think I'm going to re-write Loretta Lynn's song about The Pill.
I can tell you for certain that no woman over the age of fifty had a hand in formulating Viagara.
Viagra does not protect against sexually transmitted homicide.
I knew viagra had serious side effects...
Wow, too funny! :)
My mother was divorced once before she married my dad...she was Catholic so she could not marry Dad in the church and couldn't receive the sacraments. Well, when she was in her late 60's and sick a nice young priest heard her confession and told her that because she and my dad lived as brother and sister, she could receive communion. Her mistake? She told me, my brother AND my dad. I am sure you can figure out what my dad did.
This is even funnier to me. As I have lived all my life in the South and have people everywhere including plenty in the Northwest Corner of Arkansas. Low and behold, my first trip to Germany and my son's Landlady hit me with- can you find my sister's gravesite and maybe contact Her children to maybe send me some photos of them? I said yes! It has to be the water I drank from Mississippi. Well, took almost a year of calling every place in Arkansas. Yes siree! She was a WWII Bride, and Rest peacefully in -- drum roll! Bald Knob, AR. Born a Lutheran and died a Baptist.
I actually, prayed at Her Mother's gravesite in Germany on Hill where several of Her siblings are now buried.
Arkansas- just congers these stories up.
Oh, for your Viagra. On TV up here in Boston, MA, they have a very young Race Car driver - well if He needs that extends light blue Pill, I am guessing He takes the dark Blue Pill every other lap. To bad He will never know what hit him and his car.
Have a great life.
Post a Comment