It happened again today dangit. It happens every spring. I blame it on early-onset Alzheimer's. Sigh.
Every spring I get the notion that I would like to have some cute, breezy summertime clothes. I go out searching, purchase a few items, then never wear them. What I forget is that I don't have the confirmation to be considered "cute" and, therefore, "cute" clothes on the rack look like crap on me. I have linebacker shoulders, long monkey arms, and Dolly Parton breasticles.
The last time I looked good in the latest fashion was back in the '80s when manish suits with shoulder pads were all the rage. I looked great in those Joan Crawford / Mildred Pierce / Brooks Brothers suits.
But "cute" clothes with those little spaghetti strap numbers are a big no-no. I forget that every spring. Alzheimer's.
I went out today on my delusional annual search. You see, I'm SO tired of wearing mens T-shirts. I wanted something sleeveless in pink or floral or girly-girl. I wanted one of those empire waisted maternity top looking thingies. I wanted the breeze to blow up my shirt on hot, humid days. T-shirts are hot (but not in a sexy hot kinda way.)
I asked sister Nana to go along for moral support. We combed the racks for appropriate items and hit the dressing room with about 14 pieces. Arrrggghhh! It's tough to find shirts that will fit over the girls. I tried on one of those empire waist thingies I so dearly craved and ended up looking like a wet nurse to triplets. Uh, no. So much for that idea.
I remember now why I dress in men's clothing.
Crap.
Off to the men's department.
Found a cute striped T-shirt there. At least it will be a change from the solid colors I wear now. Alas, it is blue, AGAIN. Not much pink or floral stuff in the men's department.
Those are seersucker shorts underneath the T-shirt by the way. I did manage to find those in the girl's section of the store. And before anyone says anything, NO, I won't wear the two together.
To console my wounded clothing spirit I bought some nail polish for my toesies. At least my feet can look girly-girl in my new flip-flops. I bought the same pair of flops in hot pink too! Squeeee!
Oh wow, it looks like I have hair all over the top of my feet in this picture. I don't, I just need a tan.
Dangit.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Sometimes I Hate Being a Girl
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
Hey cute is over-rated and beside think of how sexy Marlene Dietrich looked in men's coveralls!
I went shopping yesterday...same idea....tired of flannel shirts and sweats. I came home with 3 pair of jeans. My arms are too old to be wearing sleeveless, chest too wrinkly to show cleavage and my girls need a new harness. I was tired of even looking after an hour so I gave up. I don't wear open toed anything....so I am sitting here in sweats and sox and slippers.
Willym - I could go for the coveralls look, but not in this Arkansas humidity!
Rosie - I LOVE comfy clothes too. I think that's my main fashion downfall. Phooey. Showing my toes this summer season is a real risk for me.
I'm SO glad to find you're blogging again!
I think you should come here and go consignment shopping with me. Am convinced it's all about selection. Hey. I don't just think it. I've BEEN shopping with friends just as you describe yourself. It's super duper fun to hunt down those thingies and - at least for awhile - discard the logger ensembles.
No, your toes are adorable! :) My toes are long and skinny and slightly lean to the side onto each other. Yikes! Count yourself lucky to have cutsie girly toes. :)
And Dolly Parton breasticles? That one made me laugh out loud!! :)
I get bitten by the "cute" bug too. So I go and cram myself into summer frocks until I'm a sweaty mess. Then I go to Target and buy a new mens t-shirt. :)
I love mens clothes. I think they are cute on chicks too. I hate clothes shopping but I love getting my nails done. Oh you did a great job on painting them I would have had paint everywhere.
My dearest Booda, I'm certain that I will never utter the words "shoppin" and "fun" in the same sentence...unless the shopping is for office supplies. Then I'm game. Hate, hate, hate clothes shopping. Will you be my personal shopper????
Miss HP - Thanks! I thought I had long monkey toes. I can do gymnastics with those things.
Chickie - OMG! That blue stripey T-shirt is from Target! We may be twins separated at birth.
Sage - I'm thinking I might invest in a pair of Farmer John overalls cute off as shorts. Had a pair once upon a time and *loved* them. BTW, I did end up with nail polish all over my fingers from wiping it off my toesies. LOL!
I have the same problem - football player shoulders and the girls are just too big for most girl tops. I tell myself this when I go shopping: you can only wear that cute stuff if you're flat-chested and underdeveloped. The truth is that they're the ones built like boys! Not us. We don’t need frilly, girly clothes! It’s obvious we’re women – even if we wear men’s clothing.
Post a Comment