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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

New Book Ritual

New books just came in the mail. One is a hardback. I remove the book from its plastic shipping prison and immediately stick my nose to the edges of the pages. The heady aroma of printing ink and crisp, clean paper swirl me away on a bibliophile head trip. There is a world of wonder inside and it's all mine!

I perform the New Book Ritual without thinking. It is no longer a concious effort, just a natural reaction. I may be the only person in the world who does this. After I'm finished I get tickled at myself. I've done the Ritual since I was seven years old.

It is the first day of school in third grade. We are assigned our textbooks. This year we have a new social studies book; new, clean, unblemished by decades of grimy little third-grade hands. One that doesn't declare Eisenhower to be the newly elected President. I immediately stick it to my nose taking in a big huff of printing ink and paper. I am eager to open it and look at the pictures, but no, we must open it properly says teacher.

There's a proper way to open a book? Other than turn the cover? Apparently so. Teacher says we must open the book carefully so as not to break the spine.

Oh.

Here's how that's done:

  • Position the book in front of you on the desk, front cover facing you.
  • Open the front cover and ease it all the way open so it is flat, running your hand down the valley to crease it open.
  • Close the book and turn it over.
  • Repeat the procedure with the back cover.
  • Close the book and hold it upright on its spine so the page edges point up.
  • Find the midway point in the pages and open the book out flat; crease the valley.
  • Stand the book back up on its spine closed, pick a point halfway between the midpoint and the front cover.
  • Open the book flat and crease.
  • Stand the book back up on its spine closed, pick a point halfway between the midpoint and the back cover.
  • Open the book flat and crease.

The book can now be used without fear of breaking the spine. I didn't know what "breaking the spine" meant in third grade, but it seemed to be a terrible doom both for the book and the spine breaker kid.

The final step in the New Book Ritual is carefully penning your full name and date on the inside cover. I'm not sure of the importance of the date, but who am I to fiddle around with a time honored tradition?

With my New Book Ritual completed, I am off to the porch rocker to immerse myself in southern culture. It will be a Good Day.



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