Southern Belle Circadian Rhythms

I like to sleep. I am a power sleeper. However, unlike most of the civilized world, I like to sleep from about 3:00 a.m. until about 11:00 a.m. Hubby teases me about getting up at the crack of noon.

My brain doesn't start functioning well until the sun goes down. Moonbeams cause the creative juices to flow and the higher-level thinking skills to ramp up into gear. My best mental work happens in the wee small hours of midnight. Cousin Tommy Darrel says I'm livin' on Tokyo time. Sissy says I just have different circadian rhythms from other people. I tell folks I'm second cousin to a vampire.

It's been problematic I'll admit. College classes at 7:00 or 8:00 a.m. were real killers. Do civilized people actually think about perpetual inventory systems at that hour? Later, in the corporate world, trying to read a three-inch thick contract at 7:30 a.m. was pretty pointless. The ol' gray matter was still congealed.

I discovered my night-owl habits are merely my biological imperative to be a proper Southern Belle. Validation was found in Being Dead is No Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral, by Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays (edited here for space considerations):

"Like Count Dracula, who was from a lovely old family, Southern ladies of a certain ilk and age only come alive at night. One or two in the morning is the normal bedtime for the night-owl belle. She sits up all night smoking cigarettes, watching TV, or drinking gin. While the rest of us are in bed getting our zzz's, the night-owl belle is flipping through her TV Guide, searching for Dynasty reruns, and not even thinking about applying her Swiss Performing lotion for another hour or so. The night-owl belle won't want to make conversation at an hour she regards as daybreak, which, roughly translated, is any time before midday."

Yes! Sing it sister! I have been vindicated. I just knew there was a reason for my night-owliness; I am a true Southern Belle. My momma raised me right.