At times it is worthwhile to reflect on why you do the things you do, to distill actions and responses down to the essence. When I do I always discover something new about myself, something that lay hidden just under the surface, something unknown and unspoken for years.
That sounds like a big build-up to something very deep but all I was considering was why I chose the photo I did for my blogger profile. Initially I picked it for simple reasons. One, it was cute. I love the pigtail look. Two, I love the red shirt. I look good in red.
But there was something about that particular time in my life that resonated with me now. I wasn't just a little kid anymore, but I wasn't yet jaded. It was the height of child-like innocence, a state of being to which I now aspire. Life was good then, times were carefree, the world was my oyster full of new and interesting things to learn. I couldn't wait to wake up in the morning to start anew, and couldn't bear to go to sleep at night and leave it all behind.
But then there was the day that my world tipped slightly on its axis. The day I realized life was not all black and white. That things were not always as they seemed. That grown-ups would lie and mislead you. I remember it clearly.
Second grade; a hot spring day near the end of the school year. We were studying time. The teacher said a quarter of an hour was 15 minutes. I knew a quarter was worth 25 cents, so a quarter of an hour would be 25 minutes. She told me no, a quarter of an hour was worth 15 minutes. I knew she was lying. And she was telling me this lie with a straight face. And she had that "Oh you poor little thing" sympathetic look on her face. She was trying to pull a fast one on me and I recognized it.
It was that day that I no longer took people at their word. I became highly suspicious and questioned everything. I believed no one about nuthin'.
My faith in people was gone, replaced by mistrust. It was the End of the Innocence.
I was six.
Monday, May 5, 2008
End of the Innocence
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6 comments:
Oh so young!..Can you imagine being the teacher? How hard it must be to teach to a wise little girl who knew a different meaning for a quarter.
And you're still highly suspicious and question everything (rolling my eyes as I answer the umpteenth question, with love)
Sage - I'm pretty sure I was a big ol' smartass pain-in-the-hiney as a child. I have a great deal of sympathy for my poor teachers.
Apparently I'm still somewhat of a pain in the hiney as an adult. (See Nana comment above.) (grin)
Nana - And I love you ever so much for your eternal patience in answering all of my questions. Will continue to ask questions until all the world makes sense.
Must. Have. Data.
Data good.
Give me suspicion and curiosity over blind gullibility any day. Oh, and I'm still unsure about that quarter thing. What does that make a hind quarter then?
Hind quarter = the fifth and last quarter dropped in the vending machine to purchase a bottle of water...the vending machine located next to the water fountain.
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