What Were They Thinking? - TV Commercials

I've been in Major Couch Potato mode lately. I've earned three more stripes for my uniform and seen waaaay too many commercials. Sometimes I wonder, "What were they thinking???"

1) AcipHex

AcipHex is a pill for the relief of heartburn and acid reflux. The brand name probably is a moosh of words that stand for something like Acid PH Extermination or something like that. Named so doctors can easily remember what it should be prescribed for. That's all well and good I suppose. The name looks all medical-like written on the prescription pad. Unfortunately, when pronounced, it sounds like "Ass Effects."

"Hey Bill, having problems with heartburn again? You should get some Ass Effects."

I half expected Bill to turn around and look at his butt. Didn't someone in product development say the name out loud a time or two? Didn't anyone speak up in those meetings and say, "Maybe we should rethink this...."

Perhaps if you take this drug you will end up with a J-Lo butt. Hummm...lemme run that past the marketing department.


2) It may not be under control....

There are two commercials with a problem here: one for an asthma inhaler; another for Crohn's Disease. The same writers were hired for both commercials.

Both state, "If you are taking medication for your problem and are still having symptoms, your problem may not be under control."

Duh. YA THINK???


3) Pam cooking spray

The commercial says your food won't stick to anything if you use Pam. Some really cool special effects show the food seemingly floating on air. Pulling the kabobs off the invisible skewer makes sense. Pam makes the skewer so non-stick you won't even know it's there. Fair enough.

The part I find rather stupid is the little bit of spaghetti floating around in lots of water in a huge, invisible pot. Now I'm not the bestest cook in the world and I've scorched, burnt, and stuck my share of dinners. But never, ever have I had a problem with water sticking to my cookware. What were they thinking???


4) The Andromeda Strain - A&E

A&E has remade the old sci-fi classic The Andromeda Strain and it premiers on Memorial Day. All well and good. What's not so good is they have decided to run the commercial for it at EVERY commercial break throughout the day on A&E. If I watch A&E I will be subjected to this commercial sixty bazillion times between now and then.

If I had any inclination to watch it when the first commercial aired, I now most assuredly do not because I am sooooo tired of it and hacked at A&E for airing it so often. I probably won't watch A&E until after Memorial Day just to avoid this stupid commercial. I'll bet I'm not the only one.

A&E are you reading this? Wanna rethink this promotion???

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OK, enough about commercials. I wanna talk about the original Andromeda Strain movie. There are two things I remember about it.

1) The body sterilizer machine

Before the scientists can enter the underground lab, they have to git nekkid in a sterilizing chamber and put on this cool sparkly helmet thingy. A big flash burns off all their body hair and dead skin cells.



How cool! I SO need me one of those! No more shaving legs and pits and other body bits. No more crusty elbows! My feetsies would look fantastic in those cute little strappy summer sandals now. Every morning I could step into SteriMax 9000 and Poof! I'd be good to go. No more razor burns; no more Ped Eggs.

I wonder if the sparkly helmet is included or would I have to buy that separately? Maybe it's free with separate shipping and handling.


2) Drinking sterno

One line of the movie is, "The only survivors are a crying baby and an old man who drinks sterno." That drinking sterno bit kinda flummoxed me and I've never figured it out. It's one of those INUs that's been orbiting my Giant Spitwad for the past 38 years.

I always thought sterno was that purple jelly stuff that burns in a little can under the pans on a buffet table. How does one drink purple jelly???

Inquiring minds want to know.