If you got here by googling "Paris Hilton's panties" expecting to find naughty pics, you're in the wrong place. Move along people, move along. Nothing to see here.
With a post title like that I'll get a bazillion hits.
RANDOM THOUGHT TUESDAY - Paris Hilton's Panties
Friday night I was watching some fluff show on E! with Robin the champagne wishes and caviar dreams dude. The show was "The World's 20 Wealthiest Heiresses" or something like that.
Just before a commercial break there was a quick blurb called "Hints for Heiresses Handbook." The tip was "Don't Marry a Poor Person."
As an example they showed three blonde sisters whom I had never heard of (the Miller sisters, I looked it up.) They were set to inherit $3 billion each. They all married filthy rich guys: a Getty oil heir, a clothing designer heir, and the crown prince of Greece. If you're filthy rich, marry someone else who is filthy rich and become filthier richer.
I would like to become filthier richer by the way.
As I plodded off to pee during the commercial, I reflected on the Don't Marry a Poor Person hint. Shit. Messed that one up. Not that I was a billionaire heiress or anything, but still.
Anyway, I had been tickled pink all that day because I was wearing a fresh new pair of panties. Knowing my hiney is sashaying around in new undies gives me a little pep in my step. When I went to pee, I noticed a molecule of humanness had besmirched my new panties. Sigh. Tiny speck, but there it was.
At that very moment the thought crossed my mind: If I were Paris Hilton, I would probably take these off and throw them away. I wouldn't even bother washing them.
Trashing oncely worn underwear is a luxury of the rich and famous. Paris Hilton probably has a boxcar load of panties and thongs lingerie companies have given her to wear...if she even bothers to wear underwear.
When Paris pulls a pair out of the drawer, she never has to worry if there are holes in them or if the elastic is blown out. She puts on a fresh new pair of undies every day, maybe every four hours, maybe every time she pees. Bitch.
Maybe that's why Paris leads a charmed life. Spotless underwear.
Just a thought.
8 comments:
Wonderful post!
I keep some worn-out underpants in a special drawer for those days when I've been too lazy to do laundry. They're my back-up panties -- a laundry day cushion.
It's comforting knowing they're there.
As with everything else in our present culture, perhaps disposable undies will become all the rage (not Depends, but true undies). Me: I hang on to those suckers till there is no twang in the elastic left.
Buck - I would have taken you for a must-have-pristine drawers kinda guy, even though you are from Texas.
There *is* something comforting about knowing there are clean undies in the drawer; even more so if they have the slight scent of bleach. All is right with the world.
Hubby has a back-up stash I call his Sacred Underwear. (Very holey)
Don't groan like that!
He says they're just starting to become comfy when there are more pooty holes than fabric.
It must be a guy thing.
Wow I havent worn panties in years...I realized they had no purpose. So I save money not buying them...maybe I will become a millionaire with my saving.
KA - (raises hand) Me too! I walk around hitchin' up my drawers thinking I either need tighter jeans or newer undies. I'll keep 'em til there is no life left. I draw the line at wearing suspenders just to keep up my panties though.
Sage - Oh, you wild and uninhibited free-hineyed spirit! Sock the undie money away in a nice 401k and retire at 45.
I wear 'em to keep my tender pink parts safe from the rough fabric of my Levis...and vice versa.
HAH HAH HAH! Oh my deary dear this post was delightful and also...
(passes out from Sagewebs comment)
Hat! Hat! (waving smelling salts)
I was afraid this would happen.
Sage, you shouldn't leave comments about your lack of underthings laying about where Hat can find them.
We might have to wave some pie under her nose to bring her around.
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